Vaya Con Dios, El Rush

I have been jubilant having discovered that Rush Limbaugh, of whom I’m a huge fan, recently threatened to defect to Costa Rica if health care passed.

Trust me, Rush, I deeply considered your threat when I was advocating my position on health care. God knows we’d hate to lose you, but it seems a Democratic majority has forced you into drastic measures.

Vaya con Dios. (That’s Spanish for “go with God.” You’ll need that in Costa Rica.)

But one thing still presses on my mind. I know you’re busy, Rush, preparing for your expatriation from the United States, but (darn it all) I have to know. Did you not know when you made your drama queen statement that Costa Rica is a country that offers government-run, universal health care?

Far be it from my place to question your judgment, but I have to question your judgment. What the hell were you thinking? Did you really believe that Latin America offered a respite from the “intrusive” government politics you were so against? Or were you simply banking on the hope that some non-descript foreign country might be a good, conservative haven?

Or maybe you weren’t thinking. Maybe you were just trying to make a dramatic point. In which case, I guess in a fucked-up way you made it. You’d leave rather than suffer health care for the underprivileged. But we have to hold you to your word. You promised to evacuate. So pack those bags. You couldn’t kill health care in the U.S., but maybe Costa Rica is just waiting for a conservative crusader like you to pontificate your way to a new Costa Rica that puts health care into the proper hands, the wealthy middle class and them alone.

Just be sure to learn Spanish. God knows you never forgave a Spanish speaker in the exclusive country club you called America.

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